urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:winters_night Darla Darla 2004-01-27T05:59:50Z urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:winters_night:515 2004-01-27T05:59:50Z 2004-01-27T05:59:50Z <img src="http://images.quizilla.com/C/carnilia/1034364963_CBUFF.JPG" border="0" alt="Buffy"><br>You're Buffy!<br /><br><br><a href="http://quizilla.com/users/carnilia/quizzes/Which%20Buffy%20the%20Vampire%20Slayer%20Girl%20are%20You%3F/"> <font size="-1">Which Buffy the Vampire Slayer Girl are You?</font></a><br> <font size="-3">brought to you by <a href="http://quizilla.com">Quizilla</a></font><br /><br /><br />Oh, God. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:winters_night:289 2003-12-18T04:38:53Z 2003-12-18T04:38:53Z I walked this earth for over four centuries. I killed, maimed, tortured . . . I left a hundred thousand scars, and yet I was never quite my own. In life, I had no choice but to fall prey to men, as long as they had money in their pocket and an itch in need of scratching. I'm very good at scratching itches. Satisfying every nasty little urge.<br /><br /> But I didn't want to be controlled by him. I didn't want my life to revolve around anyone besides myself. I wasn't a fool. I knew what attachment could do to someone. I knew the meaning of eternity.<br /><br />And still I wound up lost to my dear boy. My Angelus.<br /><br />Originally, I was intent upon controlling him. I created him; in a dark alley dripping with moonlight, I lured him in, I enchanted him, and I killed him.<br /><br />I made this creature, this mockery of a man. He's become so many things. At first he was ruthless, and embraced torment with a fervor that sometimes shocked even me. We reigned throughout the world, a lovely little family. Sweet, pure, utterly twisted Drusilla with her little girls' eyes and endless talk of blood and fairy wings. William, turned Spike, so pitifully mundane in life, and desperate to make up for it after his veins had been emptied. The traces of patheticism never quite seemed to leave him. And Angelus. I've never witnessed an evil that hasn't paled in comparison to his. God, he would make me scream . . .<br /><br />And then he was ruined. Ensouled. 'Saved,' as the do-gooder wearing his face probably thinks of it as now. He killed me without a second thought, sacrificed me for some girl he loved with all his soul.<br /><br />He killed me, but that wasn't the end of us. It's impossible to let go of someone whom you understand so perfectly they become part of you. I was brought back, a worthless mortal, and God, he fought to save my soul. My white knight, my champion, so different from my immortal paramour with an animal spark in his eyes.<br /><br />But some things aren't just meant to be saved. As long as he's like this - as long as he's good - I don't think that he'll understand.<br /><br />There are so many things that can't be deciphered with goodness. And sometimes I feel like I've uncovered them all.<br /><br />Darkness will always win, ultimately. There is no such thing as perfect happiness. <br /><br />Everyone betrays you. That's not what eats you in the long winter's night.